endlessly dreaming about developing compassionate, empathetic stories to resurrect, cultivate, and celebrate nuance and diversity within the self and to answer the question: what does it mean to birth a more connected, beautiful, and harmonious world?

As I am writing this, contemplating what I would want you to know about me, I am simultaneously imagining that if there was only one thing I could learn about other people, what would it be?

Consider this: when we land earthside, we all have a vision, a question, or better yet, a dream deeply embedded within us. This question leads us to fall in love with some aspect of this world we are meant to nurture, rebalance, and protect. If there were one thing I would want to know about other people or to have them know about me, it would be that question. What are you endlessly curious about? This musing is the core of everyone’s essence. As infinite-dimensional beings, I believe every aspect of our lives reflects that question in one manner or another, whether it is our careers, relationships (especially our relationships), wounds, patterns, choices, consciousnesses, dreams, desires, etc. Yes… I would want to know this about everyone if given the chance.

How I word my question varies throughout time; it now reads: “What does it mean to birth a more connected, beautiful, and harmonious world?” This question has always been with me, and I don’t believe it has an answer. Every query is a portal of boundless curiosities, perspectives, and possibilities. This question has initiated exploration surrounding personal mythology, archetypes, symbolism, dreams, relationships, self-sovereignty, femininity, beauty, nature, and belonging. I dream of it every day. I look forward to creating more conversation surrounding these awe-inspiring themes born from my unanswerable question.

To reiterate, this question has no answer and is paradoxical in nature. This is because this world is simultaneously perfect and imperfect. It’s already beautiful as is, even if there are aspects of it many would consider ugly. “Beautiful” and “ugly” as naturally occurring opposites are soulmates, as are any diametrically opposing dualistic poles. (Think “light” and “shadow” minus all of the “love and light” rhetoric.) I.e., with that innate beauty, there is also so much shadow, and yet so much beauty in every shadow. Everything is synchronous and has something to teach us because everything is woven by the same sacred intelligence. That sacred intelligence allows us to recognize beauty when we see it. Beauty inspires awe; love is the experience of awe. Just because things aren’t how we would want them to be doesn’t mean that beauty isn’t there. That is why I liken that Sacred Intelligence to The Mother. As I have learned from my own mother and the timeless archetype, what makes a great mother isn’t one who always gives us what we want but what we need. The Mother’s intelligence guides her to meet the needs of those She cares for.

I have remembered over the past couple of years what it is I am incredibly thankful for, and admittedly, it took not having them to realize just how important they are to me. I am thankful for my access to clean air (note I have always been thankful to go for walks outside and dually aware of how much better I feel when I can, but not having pristine air circa the summer of 2023 compounded this sense of gratitude), clean water (I was warned that the water in my college town might have trace amounts of lead; I drank from the tap like an idiot (now I have a nice water filter)), sunlight (my bedroom right now isn’t the most inviting to the sun but I acknowledge the lack thereof is also due to the winter) and natural beauty of the earth (I feel a strong magnetism during spring and summer but I am learning to appreciate the winter).

For whatever reason, simply stating that I am eternally grateful for clean air, clean water, warm sunlight, and the beauty of the earth feels like a resounding way to acknowledge how I am astoundingly and inherently privileged; it’s where and how I ground. Nonetheless, for a while, this privilege somewhat blocked me from writing about things that I unequivocally care about because there are so many people who simply do not have adequate access to clean air, clean water, warm sunlight, and the natural beauty of the earth. Everything I wrote seemed trivial when compared to all of the injustice and ugliness present. Shouldn’t those people be cared for first? Possibly. I think this could be argued both ways. Either way that is unacceptable.

When I run up against this wall, I am reminded and inspired by my sister. My sister has the largest heart of anyone I know (she jokes that she inherited it from our maternal grandmother, whose spirit I can feel with me every day) and is dedicating her life to occupational therapy, focusing on those experiencing mental health challenges. Mental health isn’t always considered a basic need such as clean air, water, etc. Mental health challenges are invariably prevalent in equity-deserving communities, and it can be incredibly difficult to obtain access to adequate care. Even if you have the resources, as I have seen in my own family, it is still stigmatized in so many BIPOC communities to seek out any form of care even though any form of health is your quality of life. It has taken me such a long time to even heal my own biases as to where mental health care falls on the hierarchy of needs. Her dream reminded me of mine in that mental health should be treated as a basic need and made accessible to everyone, and it’s awful that, for many, it’s considered to be a privilege because other, very pressing, especially physical, basic needs haven’t been met. Access to clean air, clean water, warm sunlight, and the beauty of the earth is a universal need and should not be for what is considered to be the privileged few within the larger global community. Spatial equity and belonging, i.e., equity for everyone regardless of background, physical features, personally held beliefs, etc., in every space should be treated as a requirement, and it is sad that in comparison to other outrageous, endangering inequities that it appears like a privilege. Thank you, my beautiful, loving sister, for continuing to inspire me.

When I think even deeper about my sister and question, “What does it mean to birth a more connected, beautiful, and harmonious world?” I do believe that the connection, beauty, and harmony are already present. It’s our relationship with these energies that needs to change. I.e., the “birthing” may be more of a “revealing.” I think that when you see beauty as something natural, it’s no longer a privilege; it’s innate. It’s sad that right now, beauty is seen as something only available for the privileged few; such is the same with many social injustices. We all belong in beauty. We all belong on Earth. We all deserve the beauty, connection, joy, peace, and belonging that comes with being human.

I am very fortunate to have access to clean air, clean water, warm sunlight, and the beauty of the earth. Just because I have so much doesn’t mean I leave everything as is. In fact, I think it means you need to give of yourself, your natural beauty, more because you have those resources. Ground in what you are grateful for, how you already have so much, and move from there. We all have different shadows that guide us with their intelligence to create something new. There are many “shoulds” that we need to rebalance. My sister’s vision, her dream, reminds me that there are so many talented healers of all forms doing their part in whatever way they see fit to create a more connected, beautiful, and harmonious world. I may not agree with everyone’s interpretation of what that is and how it manifests, but I do trust that as long as I offer myself in whatever way I feel guided, the outcome is synchronous and continuously rebalancing, limitlessly offering opportunities for learning, creativity, and innovation.

love my sister, fresh flowers in my room, crushes, synchronicity, perfectly fitting medium wash vintage jeans, a full moon, mothers, expansive conversations that last at least three hours, silence, being barefoot in gardens with hummingbirds, earth, thirty mm silk charmeuse, LVP’s energy, jamaican julie mangoes, well-written fanfiction, rose petal lip balsam, spirit babies, gots certified organic cotton, lana del rey, when people cancel plans, archetypes, anything from diptyque, bees (earth’s angels), vivid dreams, the whole month of may, leather, gossip, and women.

not a huge fan of (mouth) noise, constant complaining (get over your sh*t), lateness, people who talk more than they listen, when something gets in my eye, lack of self-awareness, empty conversations where people think they are saying something, but they are actually talking about nothing, intolerance, my absolute aversion of germs, faux intimacy, replaying moments in my head where i for sure said something weird, rereading what i wrote a year plus ago, leather, gossip, and mediocrity.