dreaming about presence
on the practice of seeing, hearing, and loving others
A couple of years ago, I sat with an extraordinarily talented and powerful shamanic practitioner. During our session, she shared a vision of my father holding me as a baby. She shared that when he held me, his understanding of love changed as he thought, “Oh, so this is what love is?” She said he cherished me from the beginning, was so proud of me, and was in amazement of the vulnerable, delicate, tiny, magical human being that just landed earthside. He was in complete and utter awe.
A few years later, I sat in the kitchen with my dad’s cousin. She is an indescribably beautiful, sweet, compassionate, empathetic, and powerful woman. We only got to know each other when she visited that spring. I loved hearing about her stories as a doula; the stages of preconception, pregnancy, and birth have always been endlessly intriguing to me. Unprompted, she told me about the first time she witnessed my dad with me. She told me about the unprecedented love she saw in his eyes when he looked at me. She would say over and over again, “Your dad loved you so much. He would barely let anyone hold you. He loves you so so much.”
Birth and children often inspire awe. We can’t help but take a moment and be present when we see children. When I see flowers, hummingbirds, or a spectacular moonrise, I am in awe; I fall in love. It’s so simple and yet somehow underrated. Every aspect of nature is a portal or gateway for someone to fall in love. I am in love with The Forest, while some find more solace in The Ocean. Not everyone falls in love with the same things, but nature has enough multidimensionality, diversity, and multiplicity that there is something for everyone. I heard once that no one needs to be taught how to be in awe and, thus, how to see (1) beauty (2). When we experience awe, we witness beauty and fall in love.
Love creates connection, whether we are connecting the disjoint aspects of ourselves, creating connections with one another, or connecting to something greater than ourselves. Awe is an effortless way to find ourselves in Mother Earth’s infinite dimensions. If you’re anything like me, it is much easier to be in awe of what appears to be outside ourselves. Whenever I am in awe of something in nature (which is truly a mirror for our beauty), I remind myself that this is what my dad felt the moment he saw me, and I am reborn in the awe I have for myself.
My dad and I are both dreamers and naturally have a more romantic view of the world (though I’m not sure he would admit that). That doesn’t mean we gloss over the atrocities that are present; they are opportunities to create something new, to create a more connected, beautiful, and harmonious world. Everyone has an equally crucial role to play in healing the planet collectively. Integrating this softer, more loving energy into our daily lives can go a long way.
I think the most important daily ritual we can engage with is presence. When I contemplate the threads that connect us all via our humanity, the one that feels the most important is that we all want to be seen, heard, and loved. We all want to belong amongst ourselves and one another. I truly believe that if we are present, we can observe the beauty within just about anyone and effortlessly experience love in that shared space. Presence is the gateway to beauty, which leads us to love. It’s a simple and powerful practice because we don’t need any tools; it’s spaceless and timeless. It may not always be easy to check our biases, wounds, patterns, filters, etc., at the door because those make us human. They are equally beautiful; there is time and space for them when we are present with ourselves. When you are with others, try to empty them out for a moment so you can see them with the utmost clarity. If we are truly present, I don’t believe there is any way that the other person won’t feel truly seen.
Whenever we are with someone, we have the power to birth something new within that person, within ourselves, and vice versa. It can be as simple as newfound empathy, compassion, or understanding. What you choose to co-create with that person is up to you. Imagine just taking in someone for exactly who they are and just being there in awe of them. Listen a bit more than you speak (don’t worry, there’s a time and place for offering yourself, too). Do the same for yourself. With this, we will preserve the richness in self-sovereignty, multidimensionality, and diversity that is currently fading.
If it doesn’t come easily to you, imagine someone you love first and feel into how you see them. Now try bringing that same feeling, that same energy, into the space with everyone else. See them through the same eyes of love you absorb your loved ones with. Do the same for yourself; imagine how someone that you know loves you unconditionally feels about you and hold yourself in that feeling. It’s a daily practice, and I imagine it can change a lot about the world if we all practice it endlessly. This is my dream for the planet.
(1) When I write “see beauty,” it is not to exclude anyone who does not experience vision like I do. I also experience beauty via cycles and synchronicity, e.g., the moon, sun, and seasonal cycles that we all have access to. That’s just one example of a felt experience. Beauty and awe can be experienced via any of the five plus senses.
(2) Disclaimer: I first heard this idea from Zach Bush, M.D., who received it from a colleague. I don’t know Zach’s work extensively and thus do not claim to agree with all of his ideas, but I want to give credit where credit is due.